#1 Mike Gundy rules. His vivisection of Oklahoman columnist Jenni Cuntson, er, Carlson wins him this year’s Dan Hawkins Rant of the Year, although calling it a rant does not do it justice, as he was dead-on in his assessment of Cuntson’s work. Most in the blogosphere have ripped Gundy for being unprofessional, unhinged, etc. I laud him for his thoughtful, insightful remarks. Those that follow the college game would do well to read a transcript of what he said and apply it.
#2 So much for South Carolina joining the SEC elite. Another year, another close-but-not-really defeat to one of the true elite, this time LSU, shows that the perpetually not-ready-for-prime-time Gamecocks are not terrible, but decidedly 2nd tier in the SEC. Steve Spurrier didn’t go to Columbia to be 2nd tier. South Carolina did not hire him to be 2nd tier. Spurrier’s job obviously isn’t in danger, but how long before fan apathy sets in? Once the Cocks play in something better than the Outback Bowl, let me know.
#3 Being favored by 30+ points and then not scoring enough to cover the spread is somewhat uncommon, but it happens from time to time. Being favored by 36 ½ and losing outright? That display of waste product was put on by the Loserville Cardinals, who been downright Ntre Ameian on defense, allowing opposing offenses to score more than a frat boy in Lindsay Lohan’s pants. The offense is still there, but what does it matter when they can’t keep up? I’m sure Brian Brohm wishes he was holding a clipboard on an NFL sideline right about now. For that matter, I’m sure Bobby Petrino was still holding the clipboard on Loserville’s sideline.
#4 We were supposed to see Nebraska be the class of the Shitty Big 12 North, but they’ve been as classy (with their quality of play, morons; the Huskers and their fans are classy in the traditional sense of the word) as Britney Spears on the mornings she forgets underwear (only days that end in “y”). The Ball State Fighting Lettermans lost to Nebraska, yes, Nebraska, by one point. In the old days, Tom Osborne would have beaten this team 70-0. Of course, in the old days, you could walk into the locker room and announce “I feel really gay today” and not get bent over the sink. Times change, and Nebraska being a true power is one change. Don’t be surprised if Missouri is the one to get slaughtered by Oklahoma in the Big 12 Championship Game.
#5 Florida didn’t look like a juggernaut in Oxford this weekend, but man, did Tim Tebow bully his way to the front of the Heisman race or what? 20-of-34 for 261 and 2 scores passing was pretty good, but 27 rushes for 166 yards and 2 scores on top of that? That’s Michael Vick with passing and without dogs. If Tebow can keep it up, which I don’t expect 166 yards a game rushing, but if he can put up even decent rushing numbers, he has to be the front-runner for the trophy. If he can shred LSU’s defense, even better.
#6 Alabama’s starting to improve, but they’re not among the elite yet, not if they’re going to lose home games to mediocre teams such as Georgia. The Criminal Tahd should be contending in the SEC West by next year, and they could break Auburn’s Iron Bowl stranglehold. Most remarkable, however, is that they’re doing well with their lowest player salary budget in years,
#7 Giving up 28 points in a quarter is shaky, but the Oregon offense just rolled through the Cardinal defense like papier-mache. If the Duck defense doesn’t improve on that performance, they’ll be in for long days against USC and Cal. Of course, scoring so many points gives the other team more opportunities, and they did get it done against Michigan. That kind of performance may just be enough to give them some legit hope.
#8 Speaking of Michigan, way to man up and take down a quality opponent, albeit one with serious demons in Ann Arbor. Makes you wonder if Chad Henn got Brady’ed by Ryan Mallett. The Michigan offense wasn’t special, but Mallett managed the game well and let the defense win it, which they did in impressive fashion. It’s still hard to fathom Michigan going to a major bowl after losing to Appalachian State and getting crushed by Oregon, both at home, but if someone can do it, it’s this group.
#9 PsU, meanwhile, is an enigma. They beat up on the sisters of the poor the 1st three weeks, scoring victories over such ESPN Bottom 10 stalwarts as Florida International, Buffalo, and Ntre Ame, but fell at the 1st real hurdle against a team that had looked like junk all year against teams that don’t come from South Bent. They do get Wisconsin and Ohio State at home, but I don’t think that will be enough for a good-but-not-great team.
#10 The Orange Bowl apparently still carries some mystique. How else to explain Miami blasting Texas A&M? When Kyle Wright is pinpoint accurate, you know some larger forces are at work there, probably the ghosts showing what Da U will be missing when they make their money grab at Dolphins Stadium next year. But really, Wright going 21 for 26? I’d have wagered that you’d never see that in a 7-on-0 drill.
#11 Oklahoma’s defense looked terrible, surrendering almost as many points as they did all season, and if…aw, fuck it. If they’re winning 62-21, and I that’s the most I can bitch about, that means this team is solid state. It’s really hard for me to see them losing anytime on their current schedule. If USC & LSU win out, they may meet the same fate as Auburn in 2003, though.
#12 By the way, if USC can get a balanced every week like they did against the tractor boys of WSU, then that offense is going to be really difficult to stop. 302 passing and 207 rushing? Pick your poison appears to be your only choice. Unlike their Pac-10 brethren, they have the defense to support the pinball-scoring offense. Their toughest task will most likely be Cal or Oregon, but they should be healthy favorites against either one.
#13 Kentucky may not be booking any trips to Atlanta, but the Andre Woodson-led passing attack in the stodgy SEC will be a tough out for anyone. Will they beat LSU or Florida? Most likely not, though both games are at home. The rest of their games are winnable, however, and if they can somehow stun Florida, that SEC Championship Game trip may not be out of reach. More likely, we’ll see losses to LSU and Florida, and maybe a loss in a game they should win (Georgia, perhaps?), but 9-3 is excellent for the Wildcats. Remember the old saying that in the SEC there’s 10 football schools, 1 basketball school, and one learning school? That’s changing a bit, and UK is at the forefront (especially since the basketball team currently sucks rancid pussy.)
#14 The Big East may not be as stacked from top-to-bottom as some of the other big BCS conferences, but they have some really good teams and some potential compelling matchups. UConn finds themselves 4-0, South Florida has a puncher’s chance against West Virginia, and Rutgers is a tough game for anyone that ends up in their path. Loserville’s offense is solid even if the defense is Ntre Ame bad, but at least their games are entertaining. Hell, I haven’t even referenced a rejuvenated Cincinnati yet. For those that bitch that the Big East should lose their BCS bid, go look at the criteria for losing a bid, look at the ACC’s performance according to that, and get back to me.
#15 Is Wisconsin going to look impressive at some point? They may be the least impressive #9 team of all time. The closest they came to looking good was against WSU, and they just got smoked by USC. The Badgers are going to find that when they need that extra gear against a quality opponent, it’s just not there, and that could be the end of any major bowl hopes.
#16 Utah goes from beating UCLA 44-6 to losing to UNLV 27-0? U Suck if U do that. Then again, UCLA seems to be channeling their hockey brethren in Boston by inexplicably getting destroyed in games for no reason.
#17 Surprise undefeateds: Purue (still no “d”), Arizona State, Cincinnati, Kentucky, Connecticut, Michigan State, and South Florida. Most likely to make a deep run as an undefeated out of this group? Kentucky and Cincinnati, though if South Florida can conjure up another win against West Virginia they will shoot to the top of the list.
#18 Lou Holtz sucks.
#19 Clemson is rolling along, and it’s apparent that the ACC Whatever division they’re in will come down to the Tigers and Boston College, who is also rolling along and should be 7-0 going into the Thursday night maelstrom of Blacksburg. Isn’t it stunning that in 3 years of the 12 team ACC that Florida State is not considered a serious contender for the division title in 2 of those years?
#20 I like Mike Patrick, but his attempt at humor by referencing Britney Spears during the tense end of the Georgia-UAT game was as cringe-inducing as any of the incidents Britney has been involved in lately. Of course, Mike Patrick probably isn’t a cum-guzzling crack whore, but that’s up for debate as well.
#21 Really confusing to watch an 8:00 game on ABC with the ESPN branding, expect SportsCenter to come on after the game, and get some old hag on the local news talking about the guy who jacked off on a swing set at a local elementary school instead. Give ABC back it’s old branding, stupid fucks.
#22 I finally found a picture of the consultants Versus is using for their college football productions:
#23 Any talk of Appalachian State’s worthiness of being ranked was quashed by Wofford in a 42-31 win at the Terriers’ Gibbs Stadium. Nothing can really detract from Appy State’s win in the Big Quiet, but it’s time for the Mountaineers to move on. "We've celebrated long enough," Appalachian State coach Jerry Moore said. "It's time to gird it up and see what we've got." He gets it. Now his players need to do the same.
#24 The Meathead’s Top 10 1-A Teams:
#1 LSU
#2 USC
#3 Oklahoma
#4 Florida
#5 West Virginia
#6 Ohio State
#7 Oregon
#8 Calfornia
#9 Texas
#10 Wisconsin
#119 Ntre Ame
#25 This week’s game of the week appears to be a Pac-10 elimination game between California and Oregon, winner gets to seriously challenge USC for west coast supremacy. Strictly on paper, Cal may seem to have a slight advantage, but these games are played in stadiums, and this one is in the Autzen Zoo. The denizens of the Zoo swing the advantage from Cal to Oregon, and the Quack Attack takes it 35-30.
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