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Thursday, 27 September 2007

#1 Mike Gundy rules. His vivisection of Oklahoman columnist Jenni Cuntson, er, Carlson wins him this year’s Dan Hawkins Rant of the Year, although calling it a rant does not do it justice, as he was dead-on in his assessment of Cuntson’s work. Most in the blogosphere have ripped Gundy for being unprofessional, unhinged, etc. I laud him for his thoughtful, insightful remarks. Those that follow the college game would do well to read a transcript of what he said and apply it.

#2 So much for South Carolina joining the SEC elite. Another year, another close-but-not-really defeat to one of the true elite, this time LSU, shows that the perpetually not-ready-for-prime-time Gamecocks are not terrible, but decidedly 2nd tier in the SEC. Steve Spurrier didn’t go to Columbia to be 2nd tier. South Carolina did not hire him to be 2nd tier. Spurrier’s job obviously isn’t in danger, but how long before fan apathy sets in? Once the Cocks play in something better than the Outback Bowl, let me know.

#3 Being favored by 30+ points and then not scoring enough to cover the spread is somewhat uncommon, but it happens from time to time. Being favored by 36 ½ and losing outright? That display of waste product was put on by the Loserville Cardinals, who been downright Ntre Ameian on defense, allowing opposing offenses to score more than a frat boy in Lindsay Lohan’s pants. The offense is still there, but what does it matter when they can’t keep up? I’m sure Brian Brohm wishes he was holding a clipboard on an NFL sideline right about now. For that matter, I’m sure Bobby Petrino was still holding the clipboard on Loserville’s sideline.

#4 We were supposed to see Nebraska be the class of the Shitty Big 12 North, but they’ve been as classy (with their quality of play, morons; the Huskers and their fans are classy in the traditional sense of the word) as Britney Spears on the mornings she forgets underwear (only days that end in “y”). The Ball State Fighting Lettermans lost to Nebraska, yes, Nebraska, by one point. In the old days, Tom Osborne would have beaten this team 70-0. Of course, in the old days, you could walk into the locker room and announce “I feel really gay today” and not get bent over the sink. Times change, and Nebraska being a true power is one change. Don’t be surprised if Missouri is the one to get slaughtered by Oklahoma in the Big 12 Championship Game.

#5 Florida didn’t look like a juggernaut in Oxford this weekend, but man, did Tim Tebow bully his way to the front of the Heisman race or what? 20-of-34 for 261 and 2 scores passing was pretty good, but 27 rushes for 166 yards and 2 scores on top of that? That’s Michael Vick with passing and without dogs. If Tebow can keep it up, which I don’t expect 166 yards a game rushing, but if he can put up even decent rushing numbers, he has to be the front-runner for the trophy. If he can shred LSU’s defense, even better.

#6 Alabama’s starting to improve, but they’re not among the elite yet, not if they’re going to lose home games to mediocre teams such as Georgia. The Criminal Tahd should be contending in the SEC West by next year, and they could break Auburn’s Iron Bowl stranglehold. Most remarkable, however, is that they’re doing well with their lowest player salary budget in years,

#7 Giving up 28 points in a quarter is shaky, but the Oregon offense just rolled through the Cardinal defense like papier-mache. If the Duck defense doesn’t improve on that performance, they’ll be in for long days against USC and Cal. Of course, scoring so many points gives the other team more opportunities, and they did get it done against Michigan. That kind of performance may just be enough to give them some legit hope.

#8 Speaking of Michigan, way to man up and take down a quality opponent, albeit one with serious demons in Ann Arbor. Makes you wonder if Chad Henn got Brady’ed by Ryan Mallett. The Michigan offense wasn’t special, but Mallett managed the game well and let the defense win it, which they did in impressive fashion. It’s still hard to fathom Michigan going to a major bowl after losing to Appalachian State and getting crushed by Oregon, both at home, but if someone can do it, it’s this group.

#9 PsU, meanwhile, is an enigma. They beat up on the sisters of the poor the 1st three weeks, scoring victories over such ESPN Bottom 10 stalwarts as Florida International, Buffalo, and Ntre Ame, but fell at the 1st real hurdle against a team that had looked like junk all year against teams that don’t come from South Bent. They do get Wisconsin and Ohio State at home, but I don’t think that will be enough for a good-but-not-great team.

#10 The Orange Bowl apparently still carries some mystique. How else to explain Miami blasting Texas A&M? When Kyle Wright is pinpoint accurate, you know some larger forces are at work there, probably the ghosts showing what Da U will be missing when they make their money grab at Dolphins Stadium next year. But really, Wright going 21 for 26? I’d have wagered that you’d never see that in a 7-on-0 drill.

#11 Oklahoma’s defense looked terrible, surrendering almost as many points as they did all season, and if…aw, fuck it. If they’re winning 62-21, and I that’s the most I can bitch about, that means this team is solid state. It’s really hard for me to see them losing anytime on their current schedule. If USC & LSU win out, they may meet the same fate as Auburn in 2003, though.

#12 By the way, if USC can get a balanced every week like they did against the tractor boys of WSU, then that offense is going to be really difficult to stop. 302 passing and 207 rushing? Pick your poison appears to be your only choice. Unlike their Pac-10 brethren, they have the defense to support the pinball-scoring offense. Their toughest task will most likely be Cal or Oregon, but they should be healthy favorites against either one.

#13 Kentucky may not be booking any trips to Atlanta, but the Andre Woodson-led passing attack in the stodgy SEC will be a tough out for anyone. Will they beat LSU or Florida? Most likely not, though both games are at home. The rest of their games are winnable, however, and if they can somehow stun Florida, that SEC Championship Game trip may not be out of reach. More likely, we’ll see losses to LSU and Florida, and maybe a loss in a game they should win (Georgia, perhaps?), but 9-3 is excellent for the Wildcats. Remember the old saying that in the SEC there’s 10 football schools, 1 basketball school, and one learning school? That’s changing a bit, and UK is at the forefront (especially since the basketball team currently sucks rancid pussy.)

#14 The Big East may not be as stacked from top-to-bottom as some of the other big BCS conferences, but they have some really good teams and some potential compelling matchups. UConn finds themselves 4-0, South Florida has a puncher’s chance against West Virginia, and Rutgers is a tough game for anyone that ends up in their path. Loserville’s offense is solid even if the defense is Ntre Ame bad, but at least their games are entertaining. Hell, I haven’t even referenced a rejuvenated Cincinnati yet. For those that bitch that the Big East should lose their BCS bid, go look at the criteria for losing a bid, look at the ACC’s performance according to that, and get back to me.

#15 Is Wisconsin going to look impressive at some point? They may be the least impressive #9 team of all time. The closest they came to looking good was against WSU, and they just got smoked by USC. The Badgers are going to find that when they need that extra gear against a quality opponent, it’s just not there, and that could be the end of any major bowl hopes.

#16 Utah goes from beating UCLA 44-6 to losing to UNLV 27-0? U Suck if U do that. Then again, UCLA seems to be channeling their hockey brethren in Boston by inexplicably getting destroyed in games for no reason.

#17 Surprise undefeateds: Purue (still no “d”), Arizona State, Cincinnati, Kentucky, Connecticut, Michigan State, and South Florida. Most likely to make a deep run as an undefeated out of this group? Kentucky and Cincinnati, though if South Florida can conjure up another win against West Virginia they will shoot to the top of the list.

#18 Lou Holtz sucks.

#19 Clemson is rolling along, and it’s apparent that the ACC Whatever division they’re in will come down to the Tigers and Boston College, who is also rolling along and should be 7-0 going into the Thursday night maelstrom of Blacksburg. Isn’t it stunning that in 3 years of the 12 team ACC that Florida State is not considered a serious contender for the division title in 2 of those years?

#20 I like Mike Patrick, but his attempt at humor by referencing Britney Spears during the tense end of the Georgia-UAT game was as cringe-inducing as any of the incidents Britney has been involved in lately. Of course, Mike Patrick probably isn’t a cum-guzzling crack whore, but that’s up for debate as well.

#21 Really confusing to watch an 8:00 game on ABC with the ESPN branding, expect SportsCenter to come on after the game, and get some old hag on the local news talking about the guy who jacked off on a swing set at a local elementary school instead. Give ABC back it’s old branding, stupid fucks.

#22 I finally found a picture of the consultants Versus is using for their college football productions:

#23 Any talk of Appalachian State’s worthiness of being ranked was quashed by Wofford in a 42-31 win at the Terriers’ Gibbs Stadium. Nothing can really detract from Appy State’s win in the Big Quiet, but it’s time for the Mountaineers to move on. "We've celebrated long enough," Appalachian State coach Jerry Moore said. "It's time to gird it up and see what we've got." He gets it. Now his players need to do the same.

#24 The Meathead’s Top 10 1-A Teams:

#1 LSU
#2 USC
#3 Oklahoma
#4 Florida
#5 West Virginia
#6 Ohio State
#7 Oregon
#8 Calfornia
#9 Texas
#10 Wisconsin
#119 Ntre Ame

#25 This week’s game of the week appears to be a Pac-10 elimination game between California and Oregon, winner gets to seriously challenge USC for west coast supremacy. Strictly on paper, Cal may seem to have a slight advantage, but these games are played in stadiums, and this one is in the Autzen Zoo. The denizens of the Zoo swing the advantage from Cal to Oregon, and the Quack Attack takes it 35-30.

Monday, 17 September 2007

#1 So, when someone talks about a team/individual having a puncher’s chance, they’re probably thinking of a scenario along the lines of the 1^st Hasim Rahman-Lennox Lewis fight, where Rahman, who was clearly inferior technically to Lewis but had some power, took advantage of the lethargic and poorly trained Lewis, knocking him out in the 5^th round on one flush right hand. Everything else being equal, Lewis should have at best dominated the fight, winning a decision. Of course, we all know the rematch ended with Rahman knocked the fuck out and Lewis getting his revenge.

You’re probably wondering what the ol’ Meathead is babbling about, right? Nebraska had the proverbial puncher’s chance against USC and got completely obliterated, and the 49-31 final is a disservice to how much of an ass-kicking this was. In the competitive portion of the game, USC ripped off three TDs in the 3^rd quarter to make it a 42-10 spread, and from there it was just playing out the string. Last year I was touting LSU as clearly the best team in the nation. This week, it’s hard to discount a USC team that beat the shit out of a good Nebraska team on the road. At this point, we may as label them co-#1s until there’s a hiccup by either team, which may be awhile.

#2 Jeer, jeer for old Ntre Ame,
They suck, they can’t play the game,
Send a Bronx cheer on high,
Shake down the thunder from Charlie’s thighs.
What though the offense be slim and none
Old Ntre Ame will maybe score after all,
While her loyal sons are marching
Onward to 0-12

#3 Yeah, you can see why I don’t write music, but whatever. Ntre Ame is an embarrassment right now, to the point that a confirmed NA hater like me even feels a twinge of pity (or I’m having a stroke, perhaps). Let us review the relevant stats over 3 games:

-         negative-4 yards a game rushing

-         119.7 yards a game passing

-         Outscored by an average of 34-4

-         Leading rusher James Aldridge has 67 yards and a robust 3.9 yards a carry

-         Leading receiver David Grimes has a grand total of 59 yards

That, my friends, sucks. I have taken the liberty of drawing up a new schedule for the rest of the year that should get NA into yet another bowl game they do not deserve:

9/22 vs Lenoir-Rhyne

9/29 at North Shore Community College

10/6 at Veterans Amputee Home for the Aged

10/13 vs Fallujah Tech

10/20 vs NAMBLA

10/27 vs Helen Keller Institute

11/4 vs Kansas City Chiefs

11/11 vs Outer Mongolia School of Fine Cuisine

11/18 at Sweet Briar All-Girls College

They should be able to squeak 6 wins out of that with some luck.

#4 As much as I (and anyone else with a keyboard) has bashed Michigan, they get their due this week for shoveling more dirt on the grave of the 2007 Flailing Irish. Man Hart stepped up yet again, and Michigan could have won by 108 instead of 38 had they not eased off the gas early.

#5 Those who discounted Florida’s bid for back-to-back mythical titles are probably backing off of their skepticism this morning after the Gators eviscerated Fat Phil Fulmer and his Vols. Tennessee is not fielding a vintage Vols squad, but they’re not as bad as the Gators made them look. Tim Tebow was fantastic, but Percy Harvin stole the highlights with his video game-style spins, jukes, and what-have-you. Perhaps a cut below USC and LSU at this point, but it’s a paper-cut thin slice below.

#6 Auburn losing to South Florida? An upset, but USF has been doing that as of late. Mississippi State? Christ, how the hell do you lose to a team that got smoked by LSU at home 45-0 when LSU didn’t even crack open the playbook, drawing up plays in the dirt on the sideline? I’m not ready to pull a piece-of-shit move on Tuberville again, but the natives can’t be happy.

#7 Oklahoma looks real good, but pretty much any school that’s not a Catholic institution in South Bend, Indiana can look good against the likes of North Texas, Miami, and Utah State. Unlike last week’s demolition of Miami, the Sooners eased up in the 2^nd half against the Aggies and did not appear to run it up. I’d have to rank them on par with Florida right now, 3^rd behind USC-LSU. However, when they play the iron of the Big 12, we’ll get a better idea of what this Sooner team brings to the table.

#8 Of course, the Oklahoma-Texas game may not be as competitive as you might think, as the ‘Horns are having trouble with the likes of Arkansas State and Central Florida. Nice gesture by Texas to go to UCF to open their new stadium, rare to see a big power travel to a smaller school like that. Anyways, Texas’ habit to play like shit the 1^st 2-3 quarters of the game is going to bite them in the ass at some point, and if they play like that against Oklahoma, the scoreline will be much like the three the Sooners have posted so far.

#9 136 yards rushing is good for any freshman. When it’s accumulated in 5 carries, that’s phenomenal. Papa Smurf Noel Devine was able to accomplish that feat against a Maryland team that seems to have fallen back into the rut it experienced pre-Ralph Friedgen. It looks like, a whole 3 games into his college career, that Devine is the next David Meggett, a tremendous 3^rd down back who is also big in the return game. Then again, Barry Sanders wasn’t exactly a towering dude either, so who knows.

#10 BC is for real. All I heard was how good Tashard Choice was, Georgia Tech was this, BC wasn’t that.   The result? A 24-10 win in which the Eagles dominated throughout. Choice ran for 31 yards, while Matty Ice threw for 435 yards. There’s no reason that the Eagles shouldn’t be 7-0 heading into a showdown with Virginia Tech. Although the Hokies will probably be their toughest test, the Clemson game probably decides the devision, with Florida State down yet again.

#11 Speaking of F$U being down, how long can they be down before they’re just another mediocre big-conference program? I mean, they haven’t sunk to Duke/Vanderbilt/Baylor depths, but are they really better than, say, Oklahoma State or Purdue right now? Sacrilegious as it is, maybe it’s time to develop an exit strategy for Bobby Bowden. F$U wants to be one of the elite powers, but they’re not getting elite results, and it could be time for a change,

#12 The kids rapping about Chicken McNuggets need to be skullfucked with a jackhammer. These douchebags popped up EVERYWHERE while I’m trying to mind my own business watching a football game. McDonald’s used to have ads like Bird and MJ playing HORSE, shit like that. Now they give us two YouTube rejects that will be sucking dick in a San Francisco glory hole in 5 years.

#13 (Note: If you’re one of those Bammer dipshits who wears toilet paper and Tide boxes on your head, get someone to read this item to you.) Arkansas doesn’t have the same “sneak up on you” cachet they had last year, but they still have a good team, and Alabama scored quite the win after blowing the lead late. However, with LSU looming in the SEC West, they’re still a year or two away from contending for a trip to Atlanta. Nick Saban really belongs in the college game, and the SEC, for that matter.

#14 UCLA? ICDeadPeople. How does the #11 team in the country get destroyed by a Utah team that’s had more injuries than Kerry Wood? UCLA was being looked to as someone who could push USC at the end of the season. Now? They’d push USC and all the Trojan would do is kick their nuts up into their throat. It’s not looking too good for Karl Dorrell at this point.

#15 Minnesota must have fired Glen Mason hoping for these results:

L BGSU 32-31

W Miami (OH) 41-35

L Florida Atlantic 42-39

Congrats to the Minnesota Golden Showers, who couldn’t even win the Sun Belt at this point. At least they can still beta Ntre Ame.

#16 Those who were surprised by Troy’s smashing of Oklahoma State haven’t been playing attention to either team. Okie State is in Year 54 of a 5 year rebuilding plan, while Troy actually put some points up on Arkansas (26) and Florida (31). Sure, they gave up 105 combined in those games, but the Trojan offense is very good, led by Omar Haugabook, and the Cowboys are just one of those blah major conference teams.

#17 How does Iowa State go from looking like a used, bloody douche to beating Iowa? Enough of this Kirk Ferentz-is-a-genius talk. He’s done a good job with Iowa, taking them to a mediocre major conference team to a good major conference team. Note the use of the term “good” as opposed to “great”. Iowa’s done enough to get noticed, but always seems to have that one loss that really ruins them every year (like Indiana last year), and they don’t get many of those signature wins. I’m calling shenanigans on Ferentz until he does something better than a pedestrian 9-3 season. Losing to a team that lost to Kent State and Northern Iowa doesn’t help the cause.

#18 Lou Holtz sucks.

#19 Should the #7 team in the country be matched point-for-point for as long as The Citadel did with Wisconsin? Sure, the Badgers didn’t Michigan the game away late or anything, but a 45-31 win over the Bulldogs should be alarming for an elite team. They need to get that defense straightened out, and pronto.

#20 And the Dukies are off the schneid! Sure, it’s only Northwestern they beat, but the Wildcats have been OK recently. Longest losing streak in the nation? Florida Brawlstarting at 15 in a row.

#21 Yeah, if you’re a 1-A team losing to McNeese State, you deserve to be called UL-Laugh. And 38-17? You suck. We really need to pare 1-A down to about 90-100 teams or so. Let The Meathead know what you think and he’ll print your suggestions in a future Top 25.

#22 I suppose I could touch on Kentucky’s “upset” of Louisville, but if you read me last week, you know it’s not that big of an upset. Louisville has the worst defense this side of Ntre Ame, and you would think that, up 2 late, they might be looking for a pass up the field? Dumbshits.

#23 I can’t believe that the news of a Prairie View A&M loss can be viewed with even an iota of surprise, but the Panthers dropped to 2-1 (yes, 2-1!) with a 12-2 loss to Southern. Hell, I remember when PVA&M won their 1^st game in 81 tries against Langston, which was front-page news for SportsCenter. Now they’re losing to go to 2-1. Baby steps perhaps, but hey, at least they aren’t Ntre Ame. By the way, if we have a Southern, why don’t we have a Northern?

#24 The Meathead’s Top 10 1-A Teams:

   #1 LSU

   #2 USC

   #3 Florida

   #4 Oklahoma

   #5 West Virginia

   #6 Ohio State

   #7 Oregon

   #8 Calfornia

   #9 Texas

   #10 Wisconsin

   #119 Ntre Ame

#25 Looks like the game of the week is #12 South Carolina at #2 LSU. While the Gamecocks have made leaps and bounds with the Ol’ Ball Coach, #12 seems a bit high, and LSU at home will bring them back to Earth at home, and quickly. LSU 41, South Carolina 10.

Thursday, 13 September 2007

I'm not going to go in-depth on Videogate, it's been hashed, re-hashed, folded, spindled, mutilated, but I just wanted to express one thing.
The punishment was not enough on the draft pick end.
The fines were appropriate to me, but the Pats should have lost a 3rd rounder in addition to the 1st (yes, they're making the playoffs, so don't bother with the #2-3 thing). In fact, they should have lost a 1st and a 3rd, period, no matter what the outcome of the season.
This is a stain on a proud franchise, and quite frankly, they don't need this shit to roll through the league.
It's a disgrace, and cannot be tolerated.

Monday, 10 September 2007

#1 – If LSU isn’t the best team in the country right now, you can suck my dick. The Tigers, who didn’t start their non-conference schedule with a shithole team, absoloutely eviscerated what was purported to be the 9th ranked team in the country. Although this was an advertisement for not ranking teams until October (much like the Appalachian State-Michigan game), it’s clear that Virginia Tech has a good team, and LSU just completely romped them. 78 passing yards? 71 rushing yards? When you average 2.7 yards per pass, that probably isn’t going to get it done. Based on performance thus far, who can make a legitimate case to be better than LSU right now? Fuck off if you try to bring any Applachian State bullshit. I suppose maybe Oklahoma could claim to be on the same level, but the Bayou Bengals are clearly the top cats right now.

#2 Fail! to the losers
Fail! to the conquered zeroes
Fail! Fail! to Michigan
the guys who wont fire Lllloyd
Fail! to the losers
Fail! to the conquered zeroes
Fail! Fail! to Michigan,
the chumps of college football

#3 OK, I’m not much of a musician, but I know a fair bit about football, and it’s obvious that most of Michigan’s players have flat out quit. That’s right, 2 games into the season they’ve quit. Of course, Mike Hart is exempt from the whole conversation, as he’s still playing like he gives a shit about his teammates, his school, and his school’s legacy. The rest of his teammates may as well have shit on the midfield logo and wiped their asses with the Go Blue banner. How Lllloyd Carr is still employed is beyond me. Every day that he is the head coach is a day that their recruiting suffers. Here’s what my game plan would be if I was Michigan A.D. Bill Martin (if I didn’t choose the “jump out a 20th story window” route):

- Fire Lllloyd

- Get someone to finish the season out as interim coach

- Give away the farm to get Les Miles

Les Miles has done a great job with LSU, and if you don’t think he’d leap at the chance to go to his alma mater, you’re delusional.

Fire Lllloyd. For the sake of your program.

#4 Yeah, I’m spending way too much time on one non-conference game between 2 unranked teams, but hey, YOU try to come up with 25 items. I just want to point out that Oregon looked like a dangerous team, and could be in the mix in the Pac-10. USC and Cal are still the class of the conference for now, but the Ducks should have a puncher’s chance against either of them. Oh, and the fake Statue of Liberty play? Brilliant.

#5 If Jimmy Clausen is the 2nd Coming of Christ, then Christ is a wino sitting on a streetcorner drinking Mad Dog 20-20 from a brown paper bag. Ntre Ame’s defense was better, but still gave up 24 points, while the offense posted a grand total of three. At least they had more points than rushing yards. That’s right altar boys, they had exactly zero rushing yards on 26 carries. Of course, Clausen did pile up -25 yards on 10 carries, which under NCAA rules means he probably got sacked for that yardage, but that still means that had 16 regular carries for a grand total of 25 yards. That’s, how you say, not good. The passing “attack” generated 144 yards, which means that Ntre Ame sucks. Well, that and about 500 other reasons. Rumor has it that next week’s Toliet Bowl between Ntre Ame and Michican’t will be on Lifetime after Versus passed on the rights.

#6 The other matchup between two ranked teams was #19 TCU and #7 Texas, and while TCU hung with them for three quarters, the Longhorns finally turned it on in the final stanza. This isn’t going to work when they play the iron of the Big 12, the “we’ll turn it on and pull it out when we have to” shit Do you really think that they can basically take three quarters off against Oklahoma? The answer is the same as the IQ of Louser Holtz: zero.

#7 Steve Spurrier has now guided South Carolina to victories over Florida, Tennessee, and Georgia during his tenure, which is a nice feat, but perhaps he should think about doing that all in the same season. That one big win a year is nice, but in the SEC, one big win a year means you’re mediocre. I’m sure that the Gamecocks didn’t bring him in to be merely mediocre, although that’s a fantastic step up from what he was with the Redskins. Clearly, South Carolina has risen a level or two with the Ol’ Ball Coach at the helm. Now it’s time to take the next step to legitimate SEC East contender.

#8 Yes, I am a Miami fan. No, I didn’t think that they were going to win in Norman. Of course, I didn’t think they were going to stomp a big mudhole into Da U either, but hey, you need to throw for TDs with 2 minutes to go in a blowout, be my guest. Just remember, there’s a return game.

#9 If you want complete assholic behavior, look to 1-A newbie Western Kentucky. When you’re up 59-0 against West Virginia Tech (an NAIA school for Christ’s sake), you do NOT need to pass for TDs. 87-0 for a scoreline is a disgrace, and not to WVT.

#10 Washington actually looked like a legitimate 1-A team in beating Boise State, ending the longest 1-A winning streak in the nation. I don’t want to see any stupid shit like “Jake Locker 4 Heisman” signs or anything, but he’s played well and Washington might get back to a bowl game this year. Too bad some of their teenage fans are douchebags.

#11 I’ve had enough of the Fresno State “we’ll play anyone anywhere” mantra. How about beating someone? Their reputation was established after they took out Oregon State and Wisconsin early in 2001, but that was 6 years ago, and the reputation has for outshone their accomplishments. Until they actually start winning games, and not coming close like they did against Texas A&M, they’re going to be a little sister and nothing more.

#12 I almost forgot about South Florida ruining Auburn’s season and the SEC’s strength of schedule. USF has done what Fresno State aspires to do: beat the big boys. 2 years ago, it was a buttfucking of Louisville. Last year was a stunner over West Virginia. This year is one of the true bluebloods taking the gas, in Auburn. If they can start to do it on a more consistent basis, they could become the 4th Florida power that Central Florida seemed to be on the cusp of doing with Daunte Culpepper and his double-donged attack. They have momentum, now they have to go out there and do it.

#13 Poor Tom O’Benedict. His comment that you could win no more than 9-10 games at BC while the sky is the limit at NCSU bit him in the ass on Saturday, as the sky fell squarely on Emo Harrison Beck and the Wolfpack, as BC ran out 37-17 winners. I cannot possibly conceive how a school that has never played in a major bowl game compares to a school that has played in and won major bowls. Maybe O’Benedict should work in some history reading with his Benedict Arnold: A Life biography.

#14 Wasn’t the move to the MAC supposed to make Temple competitive again? There should never be a 1-A game that involves Buffalo winning 42-7 under any circumstances whatsoever. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: Temple needs to drop to 1-AA and play in the Colonial Athletic Association. They’d probably still be schooled by UMass, UNH, and the like, but they’d at least be competitive, and not an embarrassment to Bill Cosby and his Pudding Pops.

#15 We’ve had to listen to stories for years about the injustice of Gene Chizik not getting a head coaching job, and we’ve waited all of this time for results like “Kent State 23, Iowa State 14” and “Northern Iowa 24, Iowa State 13”? Fuck, Lllloyd Carr could do that.

#16 Can we automatically disqualify anyone from the national championship race if they gove up 42 points to Middle Tennessee State? Louisville, that means you.

#17 I don’t care how many time zones away you are, if you want to crash the BCS party, you need to do better than a 45-44 OT win over Louisiana Tech. Enjoy the Holy Fuck, Who Wants To Get Hit In 90 Degree Weather Bowl again.

#18 Lou Holtz sucks

#19 Troy scores 31 in the Swamp? As in Troy, Alabama? Maybe I’m reading too much into it, but that can’t be a good sign, can it? They probably still beat the shit out of Tennessee, though.

#20 Syracuse blows. Their offense blows, their defense blows, special teams? Blows. Their uniforms look like the Sunkist orange came all over them, and the helmets look like they were stolen from a gay biker gang. I mean, Donovan McNabb blew chunks (literally) in the Super Bowl, but he’s never been this fucked up.

#21 The team that wasn’t complexly crushed against USC beats Cal Poly 20-13? Either Idaho had a supreme effort against USC, or the Trojans aren’t as advertised. As usual, it’s probably a little of both.

#22 Cincinnati isn’t that good, are they? Oregon State isn’t exactly a Top 5 power, but man, that was an old fashioned ass kicking from one end of Nippert Stadium to the other. I wouldn’t go and say they’ll contend in the Big East, but a nice 8 win season and a bowl game should be within reach.

#23 Thanks, West Virginia, for causing big heartburn by waiting until late in your contest with Marshall to cover the 24 point spread by a single digit. Degenerate gambler’s health isn’t the best to begin with, and doing that shit to them could cause a spike in heart attacks and strokes nationwide.

#24 Congrats to UMass, who won at Colgate for the 1st time in 5 visits, including at least one playoff matchup. The Minutemen, runners-up to Appalachian State last year for the 1-AA title, controlled the 2nd half and came away 35-17 winners. Not much else going on at the 1-AA level this week.

#25 The game of the week looks to be USC at Nebraska (suck it, UT-UF fans). I’ve been more or less badmouthing the Trojans all season (what a sex scandal THAT would be for The Meathead), but I do see them outlasting a Nebraska team that got all it could handle from Wake Forest. The Meathead says USC 31, Nebraska 21.